Noel (II)
I should have been feeling numb by now.
I could hardly open my eyes nor that I could move even an inch of my body. All my senses seems to be shutting down.
The worst of my nightmares.
Scared. I began to feel what hell was supposed to like. No light. Only pain and an extraordinary heat that came across my body, burning me up whole. Creepily crawling through every column of my spine, torturing what's left of my numbed senses.
I wanted to scream so badly, but I was voiceless. I wanted to my mom. I wanted her to hug me, rocking me back-and-forth, telling me it's going to be alright. I wanted to see her face, smiling down to me.
Mom.... I started to feel even more numb than before. The extraordinary heat hadn't given up yet on me.
But I had.
I gave my way to the darkness right away.
I could hardly open my eyes nor that I could move even an inch of my body. All my senses seems to be shutting down.
The worst of my nightmares.
Scared. I began to feel what hell was supposed to like. No light. Only pain and an extraordinary heat that came across my body, burning me up whole. Creepily crawling through every column of my spine, torturing what's left of my numbed senses.
I wanted to scream so badly, but I was voiceless. I wanted to my mom. I wanted her to hug me, rocking me back-and-forth, telling me it's going to be alright. I wanted to see her face, smiling down to me.
Mom.... I started to feel even more numb than before. The extraordinary heat hadn't given up yet on me.
But I had.
I gave my way to the darkness right away.
* * *
It seems like forever since the last time I opened the lids of my eyes. I've gave my way to the darkness, and it never crossed my mind that I would have to crawl back. I didn't feel like escaping and I didn't want to wake up. Not this time.
Grandma used to said this to me, "Never ever give up." And I never gave a second thought about what giving up was like - but now I knew. It's easier to give up rather than fighting and surviving. I've tried to opened the lids of my eyes a several times before, but it was so heavy that I would rather slid into the darkness again.
Eventually, life dragged me. Pushed me from behind.
And it was then, I saw a tiny speck of light. I blinked, slowly closing and opening my eyes. Lights hurt my eyes much more than I could imagine, indicating how long I've been in the pool of darkness.
Vague and blurry silhouette.
"HALLELUJAH!" was the first thing I heard.
The figure became more and more clearer. A fat woman with plump and rosy cheeks. She looked like a Santa Claus to me, but in female form. "Judy? Judy, the child is awake!"
I heard footsteps. "Sssh.. Voice, Marlene, voice. She's just awaken."
Another figure came into the picture. A more slender figure of woman. She looked like one of the angel I used to hang in my Christmas Tree.
Or not. She's too beautiful. The one which I used to hanged was just an ornament, her face was emotionless. The one in front me was like a real goddess. She got a perfect heart-shape face with the clearest green eyes I've ever gazed at. Her dark mahogany hair fell down from her forehead and it curled in a perfect way.
She smiled at me. Who is she?
"Marlene, call Doctor Carter, will you?" She turned to the plump-cheeked woman.
The woman called Marlene just raised her shoulder and she patted me softly, "You're truly an anointed child, my dear. God's graces are upon you."
After that, she was gone.
The goddess smiled at me again. "Welcome back, dear. And Merry Christmas."
I was tired. More tired than the time where I used to spend my time playing with Jane and Mary in the neighborhood playground. Was this how Daddy feels when he came back from work everyday? It's awful.
I closed my eyes. This was the first time I was left alone since a man called Doctor Carter came by and checked every inch of me. Asking me stuff like "How do you feel?" and "Did you feel any pain?"
I didn't answered him though. I just want my mom. I've realized that my mom wasn't by my side since the time I opened my eyes. Where was she? Where's Ms. Bee?
"She suffered, yes, but there's no need to worry about that, Judy."
"But, don't you see that...,"
"Yes, I saw it. I'll try every means to contact each of my friends. See if we can get any help."
"Yes, please try, Doctor."
"It's Carter."
I heard nothing for awhile and Judy came in to the room again. She smiled and walked to me in such a graceful way. I could almost believe that she might be a real goddess that time.
"Are you hungry?"
I didn't answer. Only stared.
She didn't give up. "Are there anything that you want? A glass of water maybe?"
"M..mommy." I finally said. My voice was so dry that it came out as a whisper. A whisper of desperation.
"Where's my mom?"
Grandma used to said this to me, "Never ever give up." And I never gave a second thought about what giving up was like - but now I knew. It's easier to give up rather than fighting and surviving. I've tried to opened the lids of my eyes a several times before, but it was so heavy that I would rather slid into the darkness again.
Eventually, life dragged me. Pushed me from behind.
And it was then, I saw a tiny speck of light. I blinked, slowly closing and opening my eyes. Lights hurt my eyes much more than I could imagine, indicating how long I've been in the pool of darkness.
Vague and blurry silhouette.
"HALLELUJAH!" was the first thing I heard.
The figure became more and more clearer. A fat woman with plump and rosy cheeks. She looked like a Santa Claus to me, but in female form. "Judy? Judy, the child is awake!"
I heard footsteps. "Sssh.. Voice, Marlene, voice. She's just awaken."
Another figure came into the picture. A more slender figure of woman. She looked like one of the angel I used to hang in my Christmas Tree.
Or not. She's too beautiful. The one which I used to hanged was just an ornament, her face was emotionless. The one in front me was like a real goddess. She got a perfect heart-shape face with the clearest green eyes I've ever gazed at. Her dark mahogany hair fell down from her forehead and it curled in a perfect way.
She smiled at me. Who is she?
"Marlene, call Doctor Carter, will you?" She turned to the plump-cheeked woman.
The woman called Marlene just raised her shoulder and she patted me softly, "You're truly an anointed child, my dear. God's graces are upon you."
After that, she was gone.
The goddess smiled at me again. "Welcome back, dear. And Merry Christmas."
* * *
I was tired. More tired than the time where I used to spend my time playing with Jane and Mary in the neighborhood playground. Was this how Daddy feels when he came back from work everyday? It's awful.
I closed my eyes. This was the first time I was left alone since a man called Doctor Carter came by and checked every inch of me. Asking me stuff like "How do you feel?" and "Did you feel any pain?"
I didn't answered him though. I just want my mom. I've realized that my mom wasn't by my side since the time I opened my eyes. Where was she? Where's Ms. Bee?
"She suffered, yes, but there's no need to worry about that, Judy."
"But, don't you see that...,"
"Yes, I saw it. I'll try every means to contact each of my friends. See if we can get any help."
"Yes, please try, Doctor."
"It's Carter."
I heard nothing for awhile and Judy came in to the room again. She smiled and walked to me in such a graceful way. I could almost believe that she might be a real goddess that time.
"Are you hungry?"
I didn't answer. Only stared.
She didn't give up. "Are there anything that you want? A glass of water maybe?"
"M..mommy." I finally said. My voice was so dry that it came out as a whisper. A whisper of desperation.
"Where's my mom?"
Her favourite Indonesian Authors are Sitta Karina and Ilana Tan. 
The Tsujimarus.
